Tips for Talking with Kids When Bad Things Happen in the News
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Breaking news.
Shocking headlines.
In the past few years, we have been bombarded with scary, and often uncertain headlines.
As adults, it is often hard to digest what is happening, while at the same time realizing that our kids may be watching or hearing the troubling headlines.
How do we talk with kids about troubling news and headlines? Let’s set ourselves up for success with a simple acronym, TALK.
T- Tell Me
First, find out what the kids know already or what questions they have.
Young kids, unaware of what the news is or means, may be concerned by a change in their parent’s emotions. You may not need to disclose the story to them, but rather talk about how an adult problem made you feel bad and how you are trying to think through it.
Older kids however will ask questions or want to talk. Let them take the lead. This is valuable because it gives you clues…
What do the kids already know?
How are they feeling about the topic?
Do they have misinformation?
It also gives you valuable information as you consider your response.
Answer kid’s concerns honestly, and avoid giving extra, unnecessary information.
Keep it simple and age-appropriate.
How will you mentor your teens about what they may see online or on social media?
A- Assess Emotions
How are your kids expressing their emotions about the issue?
Are they angry?
Are they crying?
Are they nervous, afraid, or anxious?
Are they laughing? (Often this can be a sign that kids don’t know how to feel, or are confused)
Are the affected people alarmed? Shocked? Crying? Is there property damage? Is there still a chance for further alarm?
If your child is visibly shaken or upset, address those emotions first, help them feel safe and secure. Be prepared for this to take a little time, and it gives you some time to collect your thoughts and responses.
Assessing your emotions as a parent is important too. If you need some time to gather your thoughts, it’s ok to reassure your child and tell them that you need a few minutes or a little time to make sure that you have all the facts.
If you have older kids, talk about what people may post and comment online about the event. Have a conversation about appropriate ways to respond or not respond online.
Share details that are appropriate for the youngest child in the room. If older kids are present and have more detailed questions, talk with them separately.
Take some time to collect yourself, craft your response, and don’t leave the kids hanging for answers. Both you and your child will feel better after you have talked.
L- Lean on Resources
As parents, we put a lot of pressure to have the perfect answers for our kids during times like this. Your best loving, supportive response in these moments is the perfect answer.
You can always go back to update a response if needed. It’s good for kids to see and understand that nobody is perfect and that often these news scenarios continue to develop over time.
What are good resources to keep handy?
The dictionary and a thesaurus are very helpful in describing vocabulary that is hard or unknown to kids. You may need a more age-appropriate word, or sometimes words are said that we ourselves do not know.
School counselors and psychologists often offer support for parents or links to use as you talk with your kids.
Online resources and books are helpful. What is your favorite? Keep the links handy for when you may need them. Here are a few I like…
Scholastic News or TIme for Kids are great resources for talking with kids about general news topics, which can help give background knowledge when more serious topics arise.
Children’s books are great sources for connecting with your kids every day about feelings, character choices, or problems that get resolved. Non-fiction books can help kids understand the science behind things like natural disasters. Books like What to Do With a Problem by Kobi Yamada and Feelings by Aliki are good conversation starters for parents to use as well.
K- Know Solutions
Kids will be curious about how the disaster or tragedy gets resolved.
How were the people helped?
Will the buildings or homes be repaired or replaced?
Even though the news likely happened far away, it gives kids a sense of security knowing that the situation can be resolved. Ask your kids what solutions can they think of? How would they help people if they were in charge?
It can also empower older kids to realize they can take action to help in ways such as…
Writing letters or drawing pictures for the people harmed or hurt in the news, and for the heroes.
Earning some money around the house and donating it to help.
Look into ways you can volunteer to help.
Tragic news catches us all off guard and the stories are different every time. Remembering the TALK acronym can help you get in the right mindset to share shocking news with kids
Having a plan in place with resources to lean on also helps parents. Keep your favorite resources and online links handy in your parenting plan so you can access them as needed.
Parents, keep hoping for the best while preparing for the unexpected.
For more parenting inspiration and tips, check out these posts…
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