Keeping your child's focus is one of the most important things a parent can do to help their young children succeed in school and life. However, many parents believe they are powerless to help their children stay on task and many struggle with staying focused over the course of a day. In this article, I list seven skills that parents can teach their children at a young age to help influence self-management and focus.

What Are Self-Management Skills?

Self-management skills are the mental tools people use to manage their attention and behavior. People with strong self-management skills are able to control their impulses, stay focused, work hard and resist distractions. These are vital skills to develop in children because they underlie school success, healthy relationships, future success, and rewarding life. However, children don't learn all the skills at once. They learn them in a stepwise process. And you, as a parent, have to guide your child through this process so that they develop their self-management strategies.

There are dozens if not hundreds of self-management skills, but you don't need to try to teach them all to your child at once. It is most effective if you choose self-management skills that are developmentally appropriate for your child's age. And allow them to practice those skills until they become natural. Once a skill is automatic, you can move on and teach another one. To help you out, we introduce these seven skills that your child needs to learn early on to help your child develop strong self-management skills and improve focus. 

7 Self-Management Skills That Will Help Your Kid to Focus

1. Ability to focus attention

One of the essential skills for young kids to learn is attention. Being able to focus attention is a gateway skill that helps your child do better in other areas. You can use a strategy to help your child learn how to focus their attention through open-ended questions for preschoolers. Instead of asking your kid a question such as, "Do you want to play video games?" ask them a question like, "What do you think about playing video games? What would you do if your mom or dad said no to you? What would you say to them?" It is also important to let your kid get through the struggle of not knowing the answer before giving feedback.

2. Managing time effectively

Kids who have difficulty managing their time are more likely to get upset with other people and struggle when it's time to do their homework or chores. There are three steps to help your child develop better time management skills: planning, organizing, and prioritizing. You can help them plan their day by telling them when they need to do a task and how long it will take. You can also help children organize their work by rewriting their schedule in a daily planner and keeping track of their time doing tasks. And you can help your child prioritize their activities by asking them what they would like to do at the end of each week. You can also ask them if they have time to do a task before it's due, tell them how much time is left, and remind them about deadlines.

3. Impulse control

Impulsivity is the opposite of self-control. Impulsive behaviors include yelling at someone without thinking, getting angry or frustrated easily, acting without considering consequences, and spending money impulsively. To help your child learn impulse control, you can introduce the concept that you can't do something until you first think about it. You can talk about why it's important to think before you act. Some kids might not fully get this, so you may want to talk about it a few times, especially if it is still new to them. To help your child practice controlling impulses, ask them what they would say before they acted on their impulse while grocery shopping.

4. Delay gratification

Kids who struggle with delayed gratification are always looking for the easiest way to get what they want. Young children don't have the patience to wait for things in order to get them. For example, a kid might watch cartoons instead of doing their homework or skip school because it will take too long to do their chores. To help your child learn to delay gratification, you can teach them that some things are worth waiting for, and there are things that are not. You can also ask them to make a list of enjoyable tasks and discuss what makes them feel good.

5. Emotional regulation

Children who struggle with emotional regulation often have trouble figuring out when frustrated or angry. It leads to acting out in undesirable ways, such as getting into fights or saying inappropriate things. To help your child learn to control their emotions, you can talk about the difference between being happy and having fun. You can ask your young child why they feel angry or frustrated and help them figure out what they are upset about. It will help them understand how their feelings are tied to their environment. To help build their self-control skills, you can introduce the concept that sometimes it's okay to be angry, but you shouldn't act on your anger until you've thought about it a bit.

6. Self-motivation

Kids who struggle with self-motivation may be lazy and not want to work as hard as their classmates, or they may be afraid of failing at something. To help your child get motivated, you can ask them to name a goal they have for the next week. You can also suggest that they use a timer to track how long it takes them to complete their homework or chores. It will show them how long it takes and what they need to accomplish.

7. Interpersonal skills

Kids who struggle with interpersonal skills may have difficulty reading social cues and understanding how to act appropriately in different situations. It can lead them to be extremely nervous or uncomfortable in any situation that requires them to talk about their feelings. To help your young child learn these skills, ask them if they would like to discuss anything with an adult or other kid that they might be shy about. You can also talk to them about your own experiences when you were their age and ask them how they would handle a particular situation if they were an adult or a child. 

Self-management is an ongoing process and will be different for each child. It is important for parents to have patience with their children as they develop their own self-management skills. While support from parents can help children develop these skills, they also need time to learn these skills on their own.

Author Bio

I'm Andrea Gibbs Born, raised, and still living in New York. I'm a work-at-home mom with a background in business development, strategy, and social media marketing. I'm a blog contributor at Baby Steps Daycare in Rego Park, New York to motivate and educate other parents about how they can get their children ahead of the game in school.

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