Recently my youngest son turned 20.

 As we were getting out of the car for his birthday dinner, I caught a glimpse of myself in the rearview mirror with his reflection on the car.

 It was one of those “time stands still” kind of moments.

 He is a grown man. My youngest child is a grown man.

 As I shut the car door and headed into the restaurant, it dawned on me that my role as a mom is officially different.

 It took me 28 years to learn how to take care of my four kids.

I managed routines, illnesses and those tough talks we all hate to have. I kept track of homework, carpools and over 84 socks a week.

 It wasn’t an easy journey. I escorted my disruptive children out of churches, restaurants, and stores. Sleep was lost over sick kids, prom nights and persistent worries.

 It often felt like walking in quicksand during those hard stages that all kids go through. Time moved so slowly. Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc. Would each hard stage ever end?

 Yes. They end.

 You teach, they learn.

You mentor, they mature.

You love, they grow.

I never was the tearful mom when the kids went to kindergarten or left for camp. I was excited for them to have adventures and honestly, I wasn’t as outnumbered in their absence.

 As I glanced in that mirror at the man in the reflection, I realized that just as was getting into my grove as a mom…just as parenting was becoming a well-oiled machine… I have graduated.

 I didn’t expect to feel that sentimental catch in my throat until next year as he, my youngest, will turn 21.

In my mind, I assumed that the 21st birthday would be my “box checked”, sentimental kind of moment. As it goes, these moments in parenting often hit us when we least expect them.

 It made me think, these are the moments.

 To stop.

 To appreciate where we are in life.

 I loved every single moment with these four kids.

 Every.

 Single.

 Moment.

 I stopped. I played. I read. I hugged.

 I loved picking out the picture books at the library! I loved taking them to the zoo, museums, and parks. I loved the parades and picnics. I loved holding chubby little hands. I loved the whole glitter, sprinkles and Lego mess.

 While I do have thousands of pictures and family videos documenting this journey, the best film reels are the ones I play in my memories.

The kids with wide-eyes, anticipating their first rollercoaster ride with me. The grossed-out groans as they removed the pumpkin guts while carving jack-o-lanterns on Halloween. The back seat crew belting out “Celebrate good times!” by Kool and the Gang as we headed out for each vacation.  

 There are so many moments.

 I took it all in.

 What is in store for me now?

 I get promoted to Mom Consultant.

 The kids…they’ve “got this” grown-up thing, but they may still have questions now and then. They may one day need parenting advice, babysitting or help with a budgeting issue.

 I’ll be ready.

 I’ll be ready by not just giving my help, but by again soaking in every moment with them.

 I will stop and raise a toast to the happy hour meet up with these adult kids.

 I will stop and admire the difference they are making in the world.

 I will look lovingly on those furloughed brows that are worried about their kids (my grandkids).

 I will be the refuge from the harsh adult world as they meet up at my house “moms house” for Sunday dinners or holidays.

 Most of all I will take advantage of the time with my husband now that the kids have “got this” adulting thing.

 Yep, my husband, the man who worked hard to provide for this wonderful journey that continues on.

 Thank you rearview mirror.

 Parents, what are you seeing in your parenting rearview mirror? Where are you on your parenting journey? Stop. Take a moment. Are you just beginning or moving into a parent consultant role?

Take a look in that rearview mirror a little more often!

If you would like more ideas and inspiration for your family, check out these other posts…

• 20+ Tips for Overwhelmed and Overworked Moms

• Parenting Summer Break: Fun Food Ideas

• Tips for Talking with Kids When Bad Things Happen In The News

• Create a Kid-Friendly Happy Hour

• De-Stress the Family with Brain Breaks

Parenting is not about perfection. It’s about the POWER in your PLAN! Think it! Note it! Parent it!

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