20+ Tips for Overworked and Overwhelmed Moms
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Being a mom comes with a lengthy and detailed job description, and if you are a working mom, the list of duties scrolls on even longer!
Let’s begin!
Start with a plan!
What specifically is not working?
Are the mornings too rushed? Is the calendar crammed with activities? Are last week’s dishes still in the sink?
“Discontent is the first necessity of progress.” Thomas A. Edison
Let’s make progress and begin with the areas causing the most discontent for you.
Pick your top two issues, and focus on ways to manage them better, once they are tackled, move on to other areas.
It may take some time to notice a difference, but the victory is in making progress each day.
Here are several tips to help manage the chaotic life of a working mom.
Create your staff!
Wouldn’t it be nice to hire a staff? A maid? A nanny? A chef?
While hiring a complete household staff is a dream for most, let’s take a look at how you can get some added help in your household.
Let’s begin with the family.
Is everyone above the toddler age pitching in?
If no, let’s get them started.
If yes, maybe it’s time to add a few more responsibilities to the chores list?
Teaching kids how to do various household chores not only prepares them for adulthood but gives them some responsibility for the efficient operation of the whole family.
If you give kids a little money for chores that can also help you mentor them on spending habits, but this is not required. Do what works best for your parenting!
Here are some suggestions for starting chores with kids …
Focus on teaching kids one job at a time.
Have the kids shadow and watch you do the task a few times. Then begin to let them do the task while you watch them. Give them pointers.
Work together for a week or two.
Let the kids take over the task independently. Check-in on their progress, and give them feedback.
Once they do it well, add that task to a chores plan or chart.
Have a posted plan or chart of who does what chore, so there are no disagreements.
Switch up the tasks. This keeps everyone doing something new, learning something new, and keeps it fair. Who wants to be the toilet cleaner every week? Nobody!
Parents add your chores to the chore chart so kids see your tasks and understand that the whole family has jobs. Add chores such as…
Pay bills
Grocery shop
Cook dinner
Are there any areas where one member of the family would enjoy taking over a task? Maybe one child loves setting the table and an older one loves to cook? How can you encourage and allow kids to do the tasks they like?
Have the family help prepare food for the upcoming week. Turn on some background music and have kids pre-bag snack items for lunches, while you prep a dinner or two for the middle of the week.
Check out some Tips on Helping Your Kids Learn to Pack Their Own Lunch so they can help during the week as well.
Beyond needing extra help with chores, what about help needed from babysitters, daycare providers?
Do you have a backup list of daycare providers or babysitters?
Like the bachelor’s “little black book” full of single women’s phone numbers, you need a little black book of babysitter’s numbers and information such as what days and times they are available.
Consider these resources…
Family and friends
Neighbors
High School or college kids you know
The Red Cross and local recreation centers offer babysitting classes and may be able to connect you with local sitters.
Read local papers or neighborhood flyers for childcare or babysitting providers
If you are a mom with very young kids, or maybe your family is extra busy during the soccer season with practices and games, plan to budget some extra funds to hire some help.
Hire teens or college kids to cut grass, help with housework, or do light cleaning or cooking.
Use delivery services.
Shop online.
Hire a cleaning service.
Paying for a little extra help is worth it to get you through extra busy times with the family!
Quality Time…Easy Peasy!
Working moms worry and worry about quality time with the kids.
Kids are often happy and content simply by your presence as they play while you cook, or as they sing along with you during the drive to school.
Enjoy!
Finding the joy in the everyday, mundane moments with your kids is quality time for you and for the kids!
Having said that, here are a few unusual ways I found quality moments with my kids during my working days…
I mention in the Noteworthy Parenting book, that I purchased notebooks for each child. I wrote a message or drew a picture for the younger ones on the first page and dated the page. I left the notebooks on their pillows. The kids loved this! I explained to them that they could write me back and leave the notebook on my pillow. Days or weeks sometimes went by in between exchanges, but it was such fun and a great way to connect! Once the kids had grown it was fun to go back a re-read the notebooks with them (a great way to bond with your teenagers later!)
Avoid scheduling overload. Look ahead to the upcoming school year or the next several months and block out time for the family to just hang out at home or go to a movie. Do it before less important engagements and activities snap up that valuable time!
Save a few vacation or personal days to use for volunteering for a field trip in your child’s class, or maybe leave the kids to their field trip and use it as a date day for you as parents! (Parents deserve some adult quality time as well!)
Pick a convenient time to sit and chat with the kids. Bedtime? Breakfast? Bath time? Dinner? Some days it may be a ten-minute check-in other days a longer conversation, but the habit of doing it every day is where the magic happens!
Moms, keep doing your best, but with less stress!
Often the simplest moments are of the highest quality! No need to force it!
Take Care of You
What can you do to help yourself each day in the midst of the chaos?
Prep the night before as much as you can. Your “tomorrow self” will thank you!
Prep food for the next day.
Sign permission slips for school and put them in backpacks.
Set out tomorrow’s outfits.
Make your health a non-negotiable! Exercise and eat healthy! It gives you the stamina to be a great mom.
Let go of parenting peer pressure! You do not need to be the PTA mom of the year or schedule your kids for all the extra-curricular! Parenting should not be a competition, but a collaboration!
Keep it simple! Minimize holiday decorations, use toy bins for easy cleanup, buy pre-made salads or pre-cut fruit and veggies. Eliminate extra steps where you can.
Schedule in your “mom” time! Enjoy a bath after the kids are in bed. Schedule a babysitter for a night out on the town!
The working mom's life is busy, messy, and chaotic, but it’s all much easier with a plan for survival!
