Winning or Losing: Tips for Mentoring Kids When Competing Emotions Take Over
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Games!
The strategy!
The Competition!
The fun?
It’s all fun with games until there is a winner and a loser.
Winning and losing come with big emotions for kids. How do you help them deal with these feelings?
Here are a few tips for how to mentor kids with competition, winning, and losing.
Read the instructions and rules of the game ahead of time. This helps to make sure everyone understands before the game begins. Sometimes families will change a rule, or kids will play a game differently at school from what the instructions say. That’s fine but deciding on the rules before the game starts is important!
Take time to talk about winning and losing. What does it feel like to win? How does it feel to lose? Share some examples and strategies for being a good sport when playing games as a family. Role-play a few scenarios if you feel the kids could use a little practice before playing. This gives them a heads up on how they may feel or want to react before they are in the situation.
When watching sporting events on tv or in person, notice the player’s reactions at the end of the game. Professional athletes show a lot of emotions at the end of games, and there will be a lot of examples of emotions and behaviors to talk about. Hopefully, the language is inaudible!
Play games with your kids. Model how to be respectful and wait your turn. Cheer on other players, win gracefully and congratulate the winner if you lose.
Share some strategies for how to pick who goes first. You could pick by…
Age.
Rolling dice.
The first letter of your name.
What should kids do if they disagree on a rule, an answer, or a spin that lands on the line? Share some problem-solving strategies like…
Rock, paper, scissors.
Flip a coin.
Let your opponent try again, or give them the benefit of the doubt so you can keep playing.
Remember, the more they play, the more they get the practice they need to manage their emotions. Play with grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors. The more people they observe, the more examples they will see of how to win, lose, and keep the fun going.
Game ON!
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