6 Tips for Teaching Kids Without Nagging

If you find yourself repeating the same instructions—“Make your bed.” “Brush your teeth.” “Put your shoes away.”—and your child still isn’t doing it, it may be time to change your approach.

Repeating, reminding, and nagging exhaust busy parents, and kids often may just need more practice or instruction. It may take a little extra time at first, but this will lower the need for reminders!

I used to assume that I could show kids once quickly and then they could take over a task. It wasn’t until I became a teacher that I learned kids really need something like a few on-the-job trainings!

Demonstrate the task and share the little tricks that make it easier! Then do it together. Next, have your child do it while you watch. Finally, let them take responsibility on their own. Some tasks you can teach them in one or two sessions; others may need to be repeated over the course of a few days.

If they struggle, look at the parts that are hard for them and focus on fixing just that part. For example, if kids can make their bed but get distracted and forget, help them set up a checklist or set a reminder alarm.

Here are some ways to make the learning fun and memorable for the kids:

Turn It Into a Book

For example, create a picture book about bedtime. Take photos of your child putting away dirty clothes, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, reading a story, and settling into bed.

Add a few funny “how not to do it” photos. Pajamas on backward? Toothbrushing in the kitchen? Reading under the bed? Let your kids come up with the silly examples.

Humor makes the lesson memorable—and gives kids ownership of the routine. It makes for a fun bedtime story that reinforces the lesson without the nag!

Make a Video

For older kids, you could also consider turning the same idea into a short family video. Let your kids act out the steps, film each other, or even direct the production.

A funny video starring themselves can be a much more effective reminder than hearing the same instruction for the tenth time.

Use Books

Books are another great teaching tool. Find stories that reinforce the habits, social skills, or responsibilities you’re working on. Kids can learn from characters and situations without feeling lectured. Teachers and librarians are great resources for specific chores or behaviors, and here are a few of my favorites…

If Everybody Did by Jo Ann Stover

My Mouth is a Volcano: A Picture Book About Interrupting by Julia Cook

How to Be a Person: 65 Hugely Useful, Super-Important Skills to Learn before You're Grown Up by Catherine Newman

Act It Out

Turn expectations into a family skit. Have everyone demonstrate the wrong way, the right way, and then the right way again. For example, work on interrupting, putting toys away, or starting homework.

Make it silly. Exaggerate the behavior. Let the kids direct the adults. Once everyone knows the routine, turn it into a charades game.

A few minutes of playful practice can make a routine much easier to remember.

Let Them Watch You

Kids learn a tremendous amount by watching us. Narrate what you’re doing and why.

“I don’t really feel like vacuuming, but the floor needs to be cleaned, so I’m going to get it done.”

Or:

“I’m hungry, so I’m going to choose a snack that will give me some energy.”

You’re quietly teaching decision-making, responsibility, follow-through, and self-discipline. By letting them hear what is going on in your head, they understand that we all are tempted not to do a task or pick a healthy food, but you can do it anyway.

Teach, Practice, Then Step Back

When a child isn’t following through, the answer isn’t always another reminder. Sometimes they simply need more teaching and practice.

Show them. Do it together. Let them practice. Make it fun. Then step back and let them own it.

Less nagging. More teaching. More practice. More fun—and, ultimately, more independence.

If you would like more parenting ideas, check out these other posts:

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The Best Way to Spoil Your Kids Rotten and Why You Should

Resources to Help Parents Talk With Kids After the Death of a Loved One

Let the Kids Set the Table! Tips for Making it Fun!

10 Ways to Teach Your Kids About Voting

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