The Donation Birthday: A Party with Purpose
After years of celebrating our four kids’ birthdays and attending several other parties, we were buried in toys. Pieces would get lost, and party favors would often break before getting home.
It had become overwhelming to manage all the toys, books, games, and goodie-bag trinkets, while the kids did not even comprehend the abundance surrounding them.
We occasionally made time to sort through toys and donate some, but the inflow also needed to be choked down.
What I write about here is an idea we once used with each child, and it is by no means an answer to the problem, but rather a piece of the puzzle. I wish we had done more, or at least put more thought into the whole idea of gifts and toys, and changed some of the traditions to make it a reasonable practice.
As a whole society, over the last few generations, we have kept building and adding to the amount of stuff we have. Former generations did not have the means to buy every new toy, nor did they battle the onslaught of marketing we face today. Laura Ingalls in the Little House on the Prairie books received an orange, a handmade doll, and a peppermint stick at Christmas. Today, kids receive stacks of gifts for birthdays and holidays not only from us as parents, but also from grandparents, extended relatives, and school friends.
Through the generations, we have gained more and more spending power, and along with that has come the creation of more and more items to buy, as well as advertising ploys to get us to buy the latest and greatest.
It was time for a change in our house, and it started with our oldest, as her birthday approached. I don't remember whether we implemented this for the kids' 5th or 6th-grade year, but that became the year of the donation birthday party. A new tradition.
What is a donation birthday party?
A party where we would let the kids invite more kids than usual, about 10, which was more than the usual 4 or 5 friends, with the caveat that, instead of gifts, we would ask guests to bring a donated item for a charity of the birthday child’s choice. There would also be no goodie bags.
The kids picked a theme, and we planned a simple party with games and food centered on it.
The local homeless shelter was the first charity picked.
The invitation explained this unique experience to the guests. We said that, instead of gifts this year for our birthday kiddo, we would ask them to bring a donation to the local homeless shelter, and we included a list of needed items. We would also donate the money that would normally be spent on favors to the shelter. The party would still have food, games, and cake, but explained that we had become overstuffed with toys and would like to help others in need this year.
As you can imagine, this was a bit of a hard sell to our oldest, and the other 3 were not too excited about this new proposition either. We also explained that after we dropped off the donations, we would meet their grandparents at a restaurant, where they would open gifts from them and from us. (So there were still presents)
The reactions from other parents as they RSVP’d were fascinating. Some were very concerned and felt like they had to at least bring a little something, but I asked them to refrain so we could try this experiment, and it was just for one year. Others loved the idea and were eager to see how it went, and wanted to implement it for their kids.
The party went well, and the kids had fun. Parents were amazed at the pile of donations when they picked up their kids, and families left feeling good about the experience.
Once we had loaded the car, we talked about the party as we drove to drop off the donations. It was fun, but the moment we got out to hand over the toiletries, clothes, sunscreen, bedding, and other items was when the magic happened for all the kids. The volunteers were shocked to learn that all of it came from a young girl trading birthday gifts for donations, and they relayed how incredibly valuable the items were for their residents, including families and kids. The lesson hit hard and deep.
The younger kids looked forward to their turn to do the same.
One kid wrote about the experience in one of their classes, and if you asked my kids about one of their most memorable birthdays, this one makes the list every time.
It’s not easy to go against societal norms, especially when we want fun experiences for our kids, but little by little, we can change expectations, teach lessons, and still have fun in the process.
Which non-profits could benefit from this kind of birthday party?
Homeless Shelters
Food Banks
Schools
Nursing Homes
Foster Care Charities
Pregnancy Centers
Disability Charities
Dialysis Centers
Rehab Centers
Hospice Services
Church
Community Centers
This is just one idea. What are your ideas for taming the toys at your children’s birthday parties?
Send this to other parents you know and start conversations! Create new traditions! You got this!
Other parenting tips and ideas to check out:
Parenting Birthday Parties: 7 Tips for Creating Your Family Customs
Summer Adventure Car Kit Checklist
Big Lessons from Small Acts: Volunteering as a Family
Tough Talks with Kids: Starting Points For Parents
3 Playful Ways Parents Can Mentor Their Kids
Remember: Parenting is NOT about perfection! It’s the Power in your Plan!
Think it! Note it! Parent it!
Click the book below to get your book and start creating YOUR plans, routines, and traditions for your unique family!
I love sharing fun and useful products for parents! Some links I use are affiliate links, including links for Amazon.com. I get a small commission with no additional charge if you purchase through the links. The commissions I earn help to fund this site to bring parents fun and helpful content! Thank you!