This topic reminds me of an episode of The Middle where Mike, the dad, tries to teach his daughter every life skill he can squeeze in over summer break before she goes to college.

As parents, it’s easy to focus on the things right in front of us: making sure the kids get their homework done, helping them finish that science fair project, or remembering to get them to practice on time. But amid all those everyday responsibilities, it’s worth asking a bigger question:

Are we also helping our kids develop the skills they’ll need to navigate life as adults?

Kids need to learn to manage money, cook a meal, care for a home, understand a contract, make wise decisions about what they consume, manage their time, solve problems, and find answers when they don’t know what to do.

Below are some areas to consider as you think about your own parenting plans. Which life skills will you begin with? What can your child learn at their current age, and what can wait for another stage?

5 Life Skills to Teach Kids:

Financial independence:

Think about money, taxes, credit, loans, bills, and contracts.

Younger Kids:
- Teach them what coins and bills are worth.
- Needs vs wants
- Spending and saving using birthday money or a small allowance.
Middle School Kids:
- Opening bank accounts.
- Do jobs like babysitting or cutting lawns for money.
- Talk about possibly getting a part-time job in High School.
  - Talk about job applications, resumes, and letters of recommendation.
- Introduce the idea of charitable giving.
- Credit cards vs. debit cards and writing checks.
- Talk about investments and maybe follow a few stocks.
High School Kids:
- Consider having kids work a part-time job.
- Talk about taxes and how to read and understand a pay stub.
- Gradually give them financial responsibility, like paying for entertainment, then gas for the car, then car insurance or other expenses.
- Discuss interest and loans, and talk about your monthly payments (like utilities) to expose them to household costs.
- Talk about gambling, the odds, and the addictive nature of it.
Young Adults:
- Become a consultant as your kids become adults.
- Help answer questions they have about insurance, contracts, and mortgages.
- Discuss the importance of retirement planning and the need for a will and life insurance as a family safety net.

Practical independence

Begin teaching kids about cooking, repairs, home care, yard care, and sewing.

Younger Kids:
- Have kids help measure ingredients for cooking and to help set the table.
- When building a shelf or fixing something, let kids observe or hand you tools.
- Lego kits come with great picture instructions that help kids learn to follow directions, which helps them learn to follow a recipe or build things as they get older.
- Have kids help rake leaves and pick weeds.

Middle School Kids:
- Have kids cook favorite recipes.
- Teach household chore responsibilities; maybe switch them up each month so they are exposed to different chores. (Laundry, dishes, vacuum and mop, bathroom cleaning, etc)
- Teach how to use appliances, lawn mower, and sewing machines.
High School Kids:
- Give high schoolers routine chores to build responsibility, such as doing their own laundry and taking out the trash.
- Teach car care as they learn to drive.
- Have them help with home repairs as they pop up.
- Send them to the store to pick up needed items once they can drive.
Young Adults:
- Be prepared to advise on repairs or maintenance issues.
- You may get invited over for dinner or a visit! Then they will cook and host you, and you can be proud of all the things they have learned to do!

Personal independence

Mentor kids about exercise, time management, relationships, and personal boundaries.

Younger Kids:
- Spend time outside getting family exercise.
- Encourage healthy food choices.
- Consider signing up for a team sport and swimming lessons.
- Manage screen time and set clean-up timers to make it fun.
- Begin talking with kids about stranger issues, personal boundaries, and inappropriate touching. (Your pediatrician can recommend resources to help with this.) The Swimsuit Rule book and Good Pictures Bad Pictures are also good resources to check out.

Middle School Kids:
- Encourage sports, bike riding, and trying recreational activities like hiking, golf, or tennis.
- Talk with kids about healthy foods, how they help bodies stay healthy and strong, and enjoying junk food as a rare treat.
- Have conversations about peer pressure, bullying, and dating situations. Discuss scenarios, ask your child how they could respond, and share some strategies.
- Introduce basic dating rules and routines you will put in place once your child is old enough.
- Substance discussions.
- Introduce topics around consent and talk about laws around bullying, online dating, and responsibility around AI-created images of others and sharing content.
High School Kids:
- Keep encouraging healthy eating and exercise.
- Take time to talk about legal consequences of decisions kids may make at this age that could have lifelong ramifications.
- Give kids strategies to help them make good decisions in tough situations. Make sure they know they can talk to you about anything, and explain the value of coming to you before a bigger problem starts.
- Dating, relationships, and sex.
- Taking personal responsibility for deadlines and managing their calendar.
- Talk about how to handle things if they are the driver involved in an accident or get pulled over.
- Ask what they need help with, or if they want to talk about anything.
Young Adults:
- Continue to enjoy recreational activities, vacations, and meeting up! This keeps the family bonds strong, especially if there are grandkids.

Intellectual independence

Show them how to search for answers, evaluate information, and understand marketing.

Younger Kids:
- What are their interests? Check out books and websites to learn more with them!
- Talk about commercials and how they make the things they sell look amazing and tempt people to buy.
  - A fun resource is Too Many Toys by David Shannon
- How can kids be good shoppers?

Middle School Kids:
- Kids can share the strategies they learn in school for evaluating information they research; ask them to teach you, and try it out with them!
- Notice propaganda and evaluate messages together to teach good consumer and community awareness practices.
- Have them help clean out closets and make donations. Talk about the problem of overabundance and how, as a family, you can tackle it.
- Talk about online influencers and how that is basically a commercial. They are paid to promote and sell.
  - How can they stop and think before impulse buying?
  - Fitting in is highly valued in this stage; where is the balance between making some purchase choices and doing it to fit in? (Keeping up with the Joneses and the pitfalls of that habit.)
High School Kids:
- At this stage, have kids gradually pay for more so they can learn the consequences of overspending or purchase regret, or the relief of budgeting and spending wisely.
- Have them begin researching future careers or schools they would like to learn about after high school. Help them make lists so they can weigh the information and make decisions.
- Have talks about politics and how to research both sides so they can see how exaggerations, ads, and slogans can misrepresent the bigger picture.
Young Adults:
- You may be asked to help research medical insurance plans or mortgage rates, or asked about your opinions on which is better.

Values-based independence

Share your faith, culture, history, and family values.

All ages:
- Share your family traditions and talk about your favorites. Sharing your heritage is a strong way to bond with your kids and build tight connections. It’s a great way to also connect them with the larger family unit and community.
- Explain and teach your kids about your values and beliefs. You can often incorporate this into the other life-skill mentoring you do.

As parents, our goal is to mentor our kids as they learn about the world around them and how to navigate towards more and more independence. Done in steps and stages, it’s easy for them to learn and master, and easy for us to teach!

If you found this post helpful, share it with other parents you know, and check out these other blogs below:

Chore Time: How Long Kids Think Chores Take vs Reality

Family Sunday Dinners: Why They Matter and How to Begin

Tips for Talking with Kids when Bad Things Happen in the News

6 Tips for Teaching Kids Without Nagging

The Donation Birthday: A Party with Purpose

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