Tips & Discussion Questions for Parenting the Hypnotic Power of Technology
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Each day, we are bombarded with new and upgraded technologies, while study after study warns us of the dangers of technology to our kids. Let’s cut through all of the information about raising kids with technology and get to the nitty-gritty of what we can do as parents to teach our kids how to use technology wisely.
We, as parents, are pioneering in this, but I believe we have learned enough by now to roll up our sleeves and put some best practices in place to work for our families!
We know some tools do a fairly decent job of blocking content and monitoring usage, but these updated resources are often too little or too late and are just a band-aid.
We must coach and mentor our kids about technology, and in doing so, we may need to look at how hypnotized we have become to screens.
Technology is not bad, but how do we use it properly and teach our kids the same?
Creating talking points and family routines around technology use is a great plan. Jot down your ideas. Some of these topics can make for great dinner conversations. Spread out the learning so kids are not overwhelmed, and you can gradually release more responsibility to them as they learn self-control at each stage.
Let’s begin!
Kids need to know the “Why” and “How” of limiting technology for themselves.
Parental controls or usage limits are good, but they do not teach kids to manage technology as they grow with it.
You can easily see people locked in on their phones in public. Take some time to observe others in public and talk with your kids about problems you see. Is a mom on her phone and not noticing her child climbing onto a museum display?
When talking with kids, ask them why they need to pay attention to the time and quality of their tech use. Discuss your thoughts here as well. Too much time wasted? No personal interactions? Lack of exercise?
Let that lead to discussions of how to limit and manage technology. What are some ideas for doing this as a family, and how can we do it as individuals?
Be honest here. If you need to work on a few areas of your screen management, talk about how you want to do that. This helps kids see you as an honest example and that screen management is a topic for people of all ages to manage, not just kids.
Differentiate between technology as a tool and technology as entertainment.
This is a real gray area. Kids watch educational videos and play educational games at school and at home, but they are also fun and cartoonish-like entertainment.
Discuss the differences between content for learning and content for entertaining. Educational screen activities, like spelling or gathering facts about volcanoes for a project, have a specific learning goal. Entertainment is fun, with no particular learning goals. Entertainment is not bad, but like too much candy, it limits the healthy options we should be doing. (see below)
What are some examples kids have of using technology as a tool versus entertainment for themselves and adults?
Discuss time usage for technology as a tool versus technology used as entertainment. How do they differ, and why?
The technology used for entertainment is not bad, but limiting it helps us live healthier lives.
We need time to enjoy fresh air, cook meals, and sleep to stay healthy. How could using screens limit our health?
Doing work is an important part of life. Lawns must be mowed, tables set for dinner, and laundry folded. How can technology help us or keep us from getting our work done?
How can technology keep us from relating to others? Talk about times when it is rude or inappropriate to use technology. Examples could be at the dinner table, in a theater, etc.
Is technology your only or favorite source of entertainment? What are ways you like to play or spend time off of technology? Make a list of those activities as a resource for screen-free times.
Talk as a family about how you want to manage technology.
Will that time with screens differ on weekends, travel, or during a snow day?
How can you know when your time is up? Set an alarm?
Will everyone turn in technology to one charging station? We charged all family technology in our master bedroom overnight. What works for your family?
Set some technology-free times. Examples could be for mealtimes or within an hour before bedtime.
Talk about why it can be hard to turn screens off.
Maybe you are on an incredible streak with your game.
It’s the best part of a show or movie.
You are having fun texting with friends.
Sometimes we are just bored.
Getting on phones is a habit to check in awkward moments.
Do we have to stop immediately when a usage alarm goes off? A “snooze” can be used so the first alarm warns that the time is ending, giving users a heads-up to save games or wrap up conversations.
Try going without screens as a family. Plan a “pretend power outage” or a surprise “power outage”!
Other topics to discuss are…
Algorithms and how they seek to put more and more content your kids like in front of them to keep them online.
Advertising and propaganda. Brain research shows how emotional content makes people want to watch longer or buy more things.
Free games and videos keep people online, looking at ads and engaging for longer periods of time, exposing them to more advertising and data collection. Sometimes, paying for apps can be a better option.
As technology advances, what are the important human aspects of living we must preserve? One example is painting pictures vs AI-created art. What should we do and create as humans rather than rely on technology? Why?
I hope some of these tidbits have inspired you to make a plan for managing the importance of coaching our kids to use technology wisely. Having some talking points and boundaries set up over the ages and stages of your kid’s life will set you up for success as you raise your family in these ever-changing times.
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